Inside Jay Dean’s Brain

DO YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY SOUNDS GOOD RIGHT NOW?  SOAKING IN A NEW HOT TUB FROM CLEAR BLUE RETREAT IN ABERDEEN…FOLKS, THERE’S NO WHERE ELSE TO GO EXCEPT CLEAR BLUE RETREAT, SOUTH MAIN IN ABERDEEN, IN THE OLD DEPOT BUILDING….

1.  i’m a radio geek…while coming home from hecla last night, i was scanning a bunch of am stations, and found a station denver colorado…this station’s traffic person is named AMELIA EARHARDT….call me crazy, but if i was the boss, i wouldn’t be sending a woman named ‘AMELIA EARHARDT” up in a helicopter……..

2.  a huge huge huge huge thank you to everyone who brought shoeboxes to me while i broadcast ‘live’ the last couple of days..you people are wonderful…you still have until friday afternoon to take yours to dr. darold opp…remember, dr. opp is going to pay for shipping and handling of these boxes next week.

3. speaking of shoeboxes, when i left st. john’s in hecla on sunday, we had 74 shoeboxes sitting out in the narthex…when i went there last night i counted them again, and now we have 97 boxes…WOW…my congregation is so wonderful…plus i found out that numerous other ones are coming in sunday..we’re going to break 100 shoeboxes out of one smaller congregation….that’s the power of God working……

4.  big news for aberdeen and for south dakota…tom daschle is joining barrack o’bama’s cabinet as the health and human services secretary…..this can only be good for south dakota…

5.  this getting dark at 5:30 crap sucks…..i’m ready for bed every night aroun 6:30 and i don’t like it…and coming home from hecla in the complete dark at 7:30pm is for the birds……

6.  seeing brooke shields on tv a lot lately has rekindled the fire i had for her back in the 70’s and 80’s.  she is totally gorgeous….and sexy…and hot….you get the drift……

7.  91 year old senator robert byrd has turned over the chair of the senate appropriations committee to 84 year old senator daniel inouye…..91 and 84…hmmmmm…..if we keep this up, we’re going to have all of these “punk kids” running our government…..ha ha

8.  a long lost document has surfaced in which a german army medic confirms that adolph hitler only had one testicle….hmmm…now we find out that he was only half nuts…..

9.  a 74 year old boston woman was threatened with a lien on her home unless she paid a ONE CENT overdue water bill….the lady is so angry that she’s threatening to pay the entire bill with pennies.

10.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures
alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she
seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers.
     When he does she begins to gently caress his full beard. “Are you the
manager?” she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
     “Actually, no,” the man replied.
     “Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him” she says, running her
hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
     “I’m afraid I can’t,” breathes the bartender. “Is there anything I can
do?”
     “Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message,” she continues, running
her forefinger across the bartender’s lips and slyly popping a couple of her
fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
     “What should I tell him?” the bartender manages to say.
     “Tell him,” she whispers, “there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper
towels in the ladies room.”

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW…AS ALWAYS, REMEMBER YOU CAN GET AHOLD OF ME AT jaydean@hubcityradio.com

JAY DEAN

CLEAR BLUE RETREAT BRINGS YOU TODAY’S DAILY BLOG…IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR A NEW OR USED HOT TUB, THE ONLY PLACE TO GO IS CLEAR BLUE RETREAT, SOUTH MAIN IN ABERDEEN IN THE OLD DEPOT BUILDING. 

1.  i have a lot of respect for my wife and other women who play volleyball in the civic arena.  there is no way i would like to be on the recieving end of some of those ball that are coming over the net.

2.  i really hope to see you today as i broadcast at 10am, noon, and 2pm around aberdeen collecting shoeboxes full of toys for “operation christmas child”, sponsored by dr. darold opp.  remember, you can bring us cash, a shoebox full, or just bring a bag of stuff and we’ll pack it in a shoebox.  today’s the last day we will broadcast, so listen to where i am, and come out and support a great cause.

3.  jeff dunham is the best ventriliquist i have ever seen….his new christmas special is on comedy central right now….speaking of christmas, i couldn’t beleive that i saw “the grinch who stole christmas” on tv last weekend…man, that’s early….

4.  boy do i suck at football picks…whatever you folks do, listen to our picks, and do the opposite of what i pick…i am now 27 games behind scott solberg…that could be a record for stupidity.

5.  recently i watched “the banana splits”, “h.r. puffinstuff”  and “land of the lost”.  they certainly didn’t withstand the test of time…it’s hard to believe that i got up at 5:30am to watch cartoons when i was a kid…..and by the way, saturday mornings suck right now on tv..one channel actually has a saturday morning edition of a weekly news show….what happened to saturday mornings being about the kids?

6.  can’t wait to see the new movie ‘twilight” this weekend…and no, i didn’t read the book.  i don’t read books unless it’s the bible, or if it’s about hank williams, sr……i think that hank williams, sr. is the most incredible genius in music ever.

7.  barrack o’bama has invited his mother in law to live with him in the white house…and he thought congress was going to bitch and nag……..

8.  a des moines man is suing martha stewart and kmart after his fingertip was chopped off by a collapsing lounge chair…the man said that his career as a “hand model”, is over because of the event….he should be glad he’s not a porn star….

9.  a british woman kissed 42 men in 30 seconds…guiness calls it a world record…madonna calls it ‘tuesday’…….

10.  JOKE OF THE DAY…

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley
motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.  The surgeon
was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike.
     The mechanic shouted across the garage:  “Hey Doc, can I ask you a
question?”
     The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the
motorcycle.
     The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked: “So Doc,
look at this engine.  I open its heart, take valves out, fix’ em, put ‘em back
in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small
salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the
same work?”
     The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic:
“Try doing it with the engine running!”

OR THIS ONE…..

Bill and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year and every year
Bill would say, “Martha, I’d like to ride in that airplane.”
    Martha always replied, “I know Bill, but that airplane ride costs 10
dollars, and 10 Dollars is 10 dollars.”
    One year Bill and Martha went to the fair and Bill said, Martha, I’m 81
years old. If I don’t ride that airplane I might never get another chance.”
    Martha replied, “Bill, that airplane ride costs 10 dollars, and 10 dollars
is 10 dollars.”
    The pilot overheard them and said, “Folks, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take
you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say
one word, I won’t charge you; but if you say one word it’s 10 dollars.”
    Bill and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists
and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over
again, but still not a word.
    When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said, “By golly, I did
everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.”
    Bill replied, “Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but 10
dollars is 10 dollars.”

that’s it for now…enjoy your wednesday…

jay dean

IT’S HOT TUB SEASON…WARM UP WITH A NEW OR USED HOT TUB FROM CLEAR BLUE RETREAT SOUTH MAIN IN ABERDEEN….THEY ARE IN THE OLD DEPOT BUILDING…STOP BY AND SAY “HI”.

1.  OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BABES….i was at my credit union yesterday, and one of the employees told me that they had asked their 8 year old son if he wanted to go to washington, d.c…..the boy stated that he wanted to go, because he wanted to see what was in barrack o’bama’s cupboard…….mom didn’t quite understand, so her son told her that he was told that barrack was filling his cupboard….she then realized that he meant “filling his cabinet.”  YOU CAN’T MAKE STUFF LIKE THAT UP, FOLKS…FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY….

2.  i still cannot beat mitchell on x-box 360 “nfl tour.”  i had him on the ropes last night, and then he came up with a win in the final couple of minutes…frustrating…i beat tyler, ONCE…and i’ve lost to mitchell like ten times….mitch, my time is coming to kick your butt….

3.  can’t believe it’s november 18th already…that means tyler’s graduation is creeping closer…still not ready for it……but, thanksgiving and christmas and new years will be here in no time, and then it’s down to the final five months.

4.  i have to give barrack o’bama credit…he’s looking across the aisle at both parties to find THE BEST PEOPLE to put in his cabinet….i respect him for that….wonder if he has a job for me?  i could be his press secretary….

5.  if any of you are on “facebook”, you can add me as your friend…i’m under “jay dean”…..last night i put on my heading, “jay dean is ready to run for governor of south dakota.”  i’ve already had 7 comments on that from my friends and family….of course, i’m not running yet, but i would love to do that someday…..

6.  president elect barrack o’bama has officially resigned from the u.s. senate….GREAT…ANOTHER JOBLESS AMERICAN WAITING TO MOVE INTO GOVERNMENT HOUSING….

7.  YUCK…nasa said that the space shuttle astronauts are consuming purified URINE as thier drinking water…..didn’t they do that before?  wasn’t it then called “tang”?

8.  despite rumors, paula abdul says she will not step down from american idol..fall down maybe, but not step down…..

9.  a 61 year old man rode from oklahoma to washington state ON A HORSE…during the ride he was heard griping, “THIS IS THE LAST TIME I RENT FROM BUDGET…”

10.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

A doctor’s phone rang at home at three o’clock in the morning.
     Sleepily he answered “Hello?”
     A very frantic woman said, “Doctor, our baby just swallowed a condom.”
     The Doctor said, “Take him to the hospital, and I’ll meet you just as soon
as I get there.”
     He started putting on his clothes and was just getting ready to walk out
the door, when the phone rang again.
     He answered “Hello?”
     A very calm voice on the other end of the line said, “It’s all right
Doctor, we found another one, never mind.”

    A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he
said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the
river.”
    With even greater emphasis, he said, “And if I had all the wine in the
world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”
    And then, finally, he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d
take it and throw it into the river.”
    Then he sat down.
    The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a pleasant
smile, “For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: ‘Shall We Gather At the
River.’

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW…MAKE SURE TO FIND ME TODAY AND BRING ME YOUR SHOEBOXES FOR DR. DAROLD OPP….

jay dean

CLEAR BLUE RETREAT BRINGS YOU TODAY’S DAILY BLOG…STOP BY AND CHECK OUT THEIR INCREDIBLE LINE OF HOT TUBS AND THANK THEM FOR SPONSORING THE DAILY BLOG.  CLEAR BLUE RETREAT, SOUTH MAIN IN ABERDEEN.

1.  it’s good to be back to work…never thought i’d say that….BUT, we had an extraordinary time at the football championships in vermillion over the weekend.  my best friend, glen and i took 5 warner senior boys, including our sons, to vermillion for the games on thursday and friday.  i think i could make that a ritual every year.  we saw some excellent football games, except for the fact that all of our area teams lost…….BUT, all of you out there should be honored that you made it, and that you are the second best team in the state.  congrats…..

2.  I LOVE MY CHURCH, ST.JOHN’S LUTHERAN IN HECLA…we are doing the dr. opp shoebox promotion in church and as of yesterday morning we have….(drum roll please)…SEVENTY FOUR BOXES AT THE CHURCH…all of our members and the kids have gone way over the call of duty to help out.  we’re hoping to reach 100 by this sunday…we’ll see……

3.  my nephew josh and i went to a movie saturday night, and we saw A HILARIOUS movie called “role models.”  i recommend this movie, if you can handle quite a few cuss words, and a few dirty moments including a couple of women’s chestal region shots.  but, however, it is crazy funny.  our stomachs hurt from laughing…….

4.  damn damn damn…my redskins lost to the much hated dallas cowboys last night…it’s funny how when the redskins beat dallas earlier this season i never ever heard from any dallas cowboy fans….but today they’ll be crawling out of the woodwork to bug me….typical cowboy fans…..and the vikings sure peed one down their leg yesterday…..the vikes had a chance to maintain the lead in the north division, but fumbled their way to a loss in tampa bay.

5.  TWO MONTHS FROM TODAY WE GO TO SEE AC/DC IN FARGO….i even took the next day off from church in hecla, while i let my hearing come back….

6.  a dallas preacher has challenged all married couples in his congregation to have intimacy with each other every day for a week…i’m changin’ churches…

7.  prince charles turned 60 the other day….do you know why they didn’t play “pin the tail on the donkey?”  because they were afraid someone would stick a pin into camilla parker bowles….(ooooh, that’s a low one…)

8.  according to his lawyer, michael vick still wants to play on a professional football team when he gets out of prison….he said either a professional football team or the detroit lions….

9.  rosie o’donnell is doing a tv special very soon…WHY? WHY? WHY?  dang it, it feels like we just got rid of her….

10.  JOKE OF THE DAY….

 Peter decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Peter’s
station wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught
in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm house and asked the
attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night.
     “I’m recently widowed,” she explained, “and I’m afraid the neighbors will
talk if I let you stay in my house.”
     “Not to worry,” Peter said, “we’ll be happy to sleep in the barn.”
     Nine months later, Peter got a letter from the widow’s attorney. He then
went up to visit his friend Bob and said, “Bob, do you remember that
good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?”
     “Yes, I do.”
     “Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house
and have sex with her?”
     “Yes, I have to admit that I did.”
     “Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?”
     Bob’s face turned red and he said, “Yeah, I’m afraid I did.”
     “Well, thanks! She just died and left me everything!”

     Father O’Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners after his Sunday
morning service as he always does, when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears.
    “What’s bothering you so, dear?” inquired Father O’Grady.
     “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news,” replied Mary.
     “Well, what is it, Mary?” asked Father O’Grady.
     “Well, my husband passed away last night, Father,” said Mary.
     “Oh, Mary,” said the father. “That’s terrible. Tell me Mary, did he have
any last requests?”
     “Well, yes he did, Father,” replied Mary.
     “What did he ask, Mary?” said the Father.
     Mary replied, … “He said, ‘Please, Mary, put down that gun.’”

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW…IT’S GOOD TO BE BACK….HAPPY MONDAY…

jay dean

i’m really hoping that all of you can help me out with this project….as you probably know, sunny 97-7 is working with dr. darold opp to create shoeboxes for needy children around the world.  i am asking each of you to make at least one shoebox to bring to me when i broadcast live next tuesday and wednesday all over aberdeen.  just take an empty shoebox or a small plastic container with a top on it.  you can fill it with toys, hygiene products, t-shirts, caps, coloring books and colors, hard candy, gum, whatever you want.  in fact, you can go to a dollar store, spend ten bucks and put ten items in the box.  I WOULD LIKE TO DROP OFF AT LEAST 100 SHOEBOXES TO DR. OPP’S OFFICE NEXT WEEK, COURTESY OF MY WONDERFUL MORNING PARTY LISTENERS.  if you need more information on the project go to samaritanspurse.org.

and a big big thank you to you wonderful listeners for helping us out with this wonderful deal.  dr. darold opp is an incredible person, a great humanitarian….we too, can be that way and help out the less fortunate.  let’s start the holiday season out with a bang..by giving rather than recieving….

THANKS,

JAY DEAN

clear blue retreat on south main in aberdeen is the place to stop when you’re looking for a hot tub.  face it, everyone wants one, and clear blue retreat makes it affordable for you. stop by and see them today in the old depot building on south main in aberdeen.

THIS IS THE LAST BLOG FOR THIS WEEK……..I’LL HAVE ANOTHER “FRESHIE” ON MONDAY….

1.  i did something yesterday that i’ve wanted to do for quite some time. i spent an hourat mother joseph retirement center singing church hymns for the folks there.  i had a spendid time, and it was so much fun meeting the residents and watching them sing along with old lutheran hymns.  also, a big thanks to donna rozell for playing piano for me….

2.  i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again…i have so much fun doing live broadcasts at centsable fashions in aberdeen.  deanna, angela, and kara make it so much fun.  half the fun is what happens behind the scenes when we’re not on the air.  we’re always laughing and giggling like little school girls.  also, it’s uncanny how much angela looks like actress lynda carter.  yes, that’s right, angela could be wonder woman’s daughter!!!!!

3.  this past halloween my beautiful wife jeannie went shopping and found a couple of rubber snakes that look very very real.  well, now that halloween is over, the damn snakes keep showing up all over the house as we try to scare each other.  it’s actually kind of fun.  the very first spot i found one in was our bed when i threw the covers back.  so, i then put it in jeannie’s makeup area, and they keep moving all around the house.  it’s kind of cool watching our step every time we open a cupboard.

4.  last night going to hecla for a council meeting, i didn’t see one single deer until i got a mile out of hecla, and there, in the middle of the road, stood the biggest buck i’ve seen in a few years.  and he looked like he was modeling for some trophy. he didn’t move a muscle until i came to a complete stop right by his body.  THAT’S RIGHT BUDDY, GET COCKY, BECAUSE AFTER THIS WEEKEND YOU’LL MOVE FROM THE FRONT OF THE CAR, TO THE BACK OF SOMEONE’S PICKUP.

5.  well, it’s dome football time.  my best friend, glen and i, as  i mentioned before, are taking five warner senior boys to vermillion very early tomorrow morning.  i’ve never gone to the football championships, so i’m really looking forward to it.  and there’s nothing like seven gassy, burpy, sweaty men in one van, right?

6.  les cummings is filling in for me for the next couple of days.  ya know, it’s kinda thrilling for me knowing that one of the guys i listened to on radio when i was growing up is now filling in for me.  i hardly ever missed listening to les when he was on 930 ksdn when i was in junior high and high school. and i used to always call him for requests.  yes, i was that nerdy radio kid in high school.  and now i’m that nerdy radio guy in middle age.

7.  IDIOTS OF THE WEEK…the staff at a german appliance store….WHY?  because nobody there noticed a guy WITH NO ARMS walking out of the store carrying a shoplifted television set.  no kidding……the guy had the 24 inch tv clamped to his chest……unbeleievable…..the store didn’t realize the guy had stolen it until they watched the video footage.

8.  nasa says the phoenix lander on mars is dead……..so now they’re just going to leave it on mars with the hood up and an orange flag tied to the antenna.  make sure to put it up on blocks, too.

9.  school officials in moscow, idaho, hauled a junior high kid away after he FARTED on the teacher…….wow…..the school has a ‘zero tollerance” on silent but deadly weapons.

10.  JOKE OF THE DAY….

this guy was walking down the street one day when he was sure that he spotted one of his classmates from high school named helen brown.  he stared at her, and casually strolled up to her and said, “excuse me maam, but you look like helen brown.”  and she said, ‘WELL, YOU DON’T LOOK SO DAMN GOOD IN BLACK EITHER!!”   ha ha ha ha

be safe, enjoy the rest of the week, have a great weekend, and see you back here on monday…

jay dean

CLEAR BLUE RETREAT BRINGS YOU TODAYS DAILY BLOG…MAKE SURE TO STOP AND SEE THEM IN THE OLD DEPOT BUILDING ON SOUTH MAIN…IF NOTHING ELSE, STOP AND THANK THEM FOR SPONSORING THE DAILY BLOG….

1. today is veteran’s day….a day to honor those who have fought and died for our freedom.  please don’t take veteran’s day lightly.  for those of us who didn’t and couldn’t join the military, we owe you men and women more gratitude than anyone can imagine.  these brave men and women who placed thier lives in harms way, and who lost thier lives fighting, need to be honored today and should be thought about all the time.  remember, many countries around the world don’t have the freedoms that we have, and our freedoms are all because of the wonderful veterans.  may God bless all of the veteran’s, both living and deceased.

2.  last night, jeannie, tyler, mitchell, and yours truly spend about an hour and half playing cards at the kitchen table.  i love that quality time when the tv is shut off and you focus on family time…i’m sure going to miss those moments when the boys are gone.  until then, i’ll cherish every single minute of it.

3.  we did, however, take a half  hour break to  watch one of our favorite shows “two and a half men.”  it’s one of the funniest shows on tv, but it’s become very very dirty……

4.  why doesn’t the media let sarah palin go back to alaska and get on with her life?  her and john mccain lost, let them be to lick their wounds and ponder their future.  we’ve become a society of keeping the past in the spotlight and finding so called “celebrities” and pounding them into the ground…enough is enough…..

5.  i think i may have mentioned yesterday that my friend glen and i are taking a few senior boys from warner to the dome thursday and friday for the football championships…you know, when i take vacation days i expect to sleep in, but to no avail on thursday…we’re leaving at 5am…ha ha

6.  jay’s favorite candy bar?  salted nut rolls….followed by snickers…how about you?

7.  unemployment is at a 14 year high…and now that obama is going to be president, jesse jackson and al sharpton will be out of work as well……

8.  things are tough at walt disney company because of the economy…some of the changes include:

cinderella is taking on addition house cleaning jobs.

pinochio has been chopped up and used as firewood.

the “toy story” characters have been taken to the salvation army.

and

mickey and minnie have been fed some alley cats.

9.  a town in oregon has elected the nations first transgender mayor….and it’s good news for the town’s economy and budget…that’s because this new mayor’s already used to painful cuts.

10.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

Steve, Bob and Jeff are all working on some very high scaffolding.
Suddenly, Steve falls off and is killed instantly. After the ambulance leaves
with Steve’s body, Bob and Jeff realize they’ll have to inform his wife. Bob
says he’s good with this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do it.
    After two hours, he returns carrying a six-pack of beer.”
    So, did you tell her?” asks Jeff.
    “Yep.” Replies Bob.
    “Hey, where did you get the six-pack?”
    “She gave it to me.”
    “What?!” Exclaims Jeff.
    “You just told her that her husband died, and she gave you a six-pack?!”
    “Sure. When she answered the door, I asked her whether she was Steve’s
widow. ‘Widow?’ She said. ‘No, no…. I’m not a widow. You must be mistaken.’ So
I said, ‘I’ll bet you a six-pack you are!’”
I LOVE THAT ONE…

happy veteran’s day and happy tuesday…

jay dean

WOW, WOULDN’T A HOT TUB FEEL GOOD TODAY? THE WEATHER’S CHANGIN’ SO GET READY TO GET WARM IN A BEAUTIFUL NEW HOT TUB FROM CLEAR BLUE RETREAT, SOUTH MAIN IN ABERDEEN.

1.  well, my son tyler has become my first victim in the x-box 360 continuing saga of the game “nfl tour.”  i cannot beat mitchell, but i got my first victory over tyler saturday afternoon.  then in the second game, he cleaned my clock again…..apparently my first game was a fluke.

2.  it was another classic battle saturday night at warner battled northwestern for the district volleyball title. northwestern ended up winning in five games.  i’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again…it is so sad that both of these teams cannot go to the state tournament.  warner and northwestern are two of the premiere volleyball teams in the state, and one of them always has to stay home.  too bad they can’t realign the districts and regions so they both had a shot at going.  it would be great watching two area teams do damage in the state volleyball tournaments.

3.  schwan’s ice cream and schwan’s chicken strips are the best.  we ordered chocolate chip ice cream and after three days it’s about gone.  we had the chicken strips for dinner yesterday, and i doubt there are chicken strips any better anywhere.  (except possibly, alonzo’s when they were still open.)

4.  i get the honor of singing tomorrow at mother joseph manor at 2:00.  i get to be the “entertainment” for their monthly birthday party.  and i used the word “entertainment” lightly.  i’m going to be singing some christian songs with the help of my pianist donna rozell from warner.  she’s wonderful for helping me. 

5.  my good friend, glen and i are taking our sons tyler and taylor and one of their friends, aaron to the dome this week for the football championships.  we figured that the boys are seniors, so they need to go, plus i have never been to vermillion before, so i’m looking forward to it. 

6.  a barmaid in england was stabbed by a teenage attacker the other day, but her life was saved when the wiring in her bra stopped the knife.  that would be the kind of bras my girlfriends wore when we were back in high school.

7.  sesame street debuted on this date back in 1969…..c’mon sesame street, let’s finally clear the air on the “relationship’ between ernie and bert……

8.  thought for the day…if bankers can count, then why do they have eight windows and only three tellers?

9.  in tampa, florida, a man who was trying to evade an arrest, grabbed a 72 year old grandpa and used him as a shield against the police…man oh man, it’s been a really rough week for john mccain.

10.  JOKE OF THE DAY……

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right
and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no
water in sight.
    The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde,
“What do you think you’re doing? It’s things like this that give us blondes a
bad name. If I could swim, I’d come out there and kick your butt!”

OKAY, HOW ‘BOUT THIS ONE …..

    One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when
he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and
he got out to investigate.
    “Why are you eating grass?” he asked one man.
    “We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied.
    “Oh, come along with me then.”
    “But sir, I have a wife with two children!”
    “Bring them along! And you, come with us too!”, he said to the other man.
    “But sir, I have a wife with six children!” the second man answered.
    “Bring them as well!”
    They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as
large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, “Sir, you are
too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”
    The lawyer replied, “No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet
tall.”

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW…ENJOY YOUR MONDAY..

jay dean

man oh man, wouldn’t a hot tub feel good right now?  check out the fantastic hot tubs at clear blue retreat, south main in aberdeen, a proud sponsor of the daily blog….

1.  well, thank goodness the storm didn’t materialize and pound the area like we thought it would.  it is incredibly slippery out there, though.  i got out of my car at the station this morning, hit a patch of ice, couldn’t walk, and the wind was blowing me backwards…it had a heck of a time getting a grip with my slippery tennis shoes.

2.  i love living in this area where people help people.  there are supposedly hundreds if not thousands of power poles down in the black hills, and many trucks were packed as workers from our area headed out to the black hills to help.  that’s why we live here, my friends…i also get a lump in my throat when a farmer is sick and dozens of friends and neighbors show up to help out. 

3.  well, i’m like 0-5 in trying to beat mitchell in that x-box 360 football game…i had him on the ropes last night, and he came thru at the end…crap…i did, however, beat him in cards yesterday…..

4.  we, once again, went to burger night last night at big d’s in warner…i am so so so so thankful that we have a restaurant again in warner…the dykman family should be commended and patted on the back for opening big d’s.

5.  gas down to 2.10 a gallon?  YIPPEE….places in fargo and sioux falls are under 2.00…let’s go aberdeen, keep up with the big cities…ha ha

6.  the farrelly brothers are doing a movie about the three stooges….i made a big mistake…when i heard that they were doing a movie about dimwitted blithering idiots, i assumed it was a documentary of “the view.”

7.  john kerry is supposedly hoping to become barrack o’bama’s secretary of state….here’s what would happen if he got it….if any enemy leader threatens america, kerry would go talk to them until the slip into a coma. 

8.  we talked about this yesterday…a jogger in arizona ran one mile to her car with a RABID FOX CLAMPED DOWN ON HER ARM….wow…..i hear that peta was upset that she was wearing fur. 

9.  convicted felon ted stevens of alaska leads in his reelection bid to the senate.  some say he should be locked up with other lowlife criminals for the rest of his life…others say that he shouldn’t go to congress, but should go to prison…ha ha

10.  JOKE OF THE DAY….

 A hillbilly went hunting one day in Oklahoma and bagged three ducks. He put
them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was
confronted by an ornery game warden who didn’t like hillbillies.
   The game warden ordered to the hillbilly to show his hunting license, and the
hillbilly pulled out a valid Oklahoma hunting license.
   The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of
the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said “This duck ain’t from Oklahoma. This is a
Kansas duck. You got a Kansas huntin’ license, boy?”
   The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Kansas hunting license.
   The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck,
sniffed its butt, and said, “This ain’t no Kansas duck. This duck’s from
Arkansas. You got an Arkansas license?”
   The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced an Arkansas hunting
license.
   The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt,
and said, “This ain’t no Arkansas duck. This here duck’s from South Carolina.
You got a South Carolina huntin’ license?”
   Again, the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a South Carolina
hunting license.
   The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the
hillbilly “Just where the hell are you from?”
   The hillbilly turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, “You
tell me!  You’re the expert!”

folks, have a safe and wonderful weekend…see you back here monday morning…

jay dean

it’s hot tub season…get yours today at clear blue retreat, south main in aberdeen…and find out how they will maintain it as well.

1.  bundle up the children and get ready for the storm….it seems like we all get stupid the first storm and forget how to drive, what to wear, and how to handle outselves…we have a BLIZZARD WARNING today, which means things could get super nasty…in fact, winds could gust up to 55 miles per hour…you combine a bunch of snow and wind like that and you won’t be able to see squat….PLEASE BE CAREFUL TODAY…AND TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS…

2.  i did something last night that i probably haven’t done in over 30 years….i was teaching confirmation in the basement of the church in hecla last night, and i had to use the phone to call someone…so i went in the basement kitchen and there it was…A ROTARY PHONE….the old black style one….so, i dialed the number and boy did that bring back memories….those old rotary phones could withstand all kinds of things including rosie o’donnell sitting on them….

3.  i have new glasses coming this week…i really didn’t need them, but i think i need a style change….they’re pretty cool….also, i need to lose about 25-30 pounds…..maybe i should have gotten glasses that are the opposite of magnifying, so i would look smaller when i looked at myself thru them.

4.  i was talking with my darling wife yesterday at dinner, and we were talking about how the entire media world was behind barrack o’bama for president, and they didn’t mind telling you either…..remember the good old days when the news stations were neutral?  david brinkley, john chancellor, and walter cronkite would NEVER EVER EVER have let on to whom they were going to vote for.  plus fox news and others were solidly behind john mccain…that’s all so wrong….

5.  mitchell cleaned my clock again last night in a football video game on xbox-360…i don’t know why i keep punishing myself by playing him…ha ha  the game is super fun, i just suck at it.

6.  so called “comedian” al franken has lost his bid to become a minnesota senator….he lost to norm coleman by just over 500 votes and he’s now asking for a recount…franken used to be on saturday night live and played ’stuart” whose line was “because i’m good enough, i’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.”  isn’t it funny that more people voted for franken than saw his movie ’stuart saves his family.’

7.  a tourism board in croatia was embarrassed and stunned when someone hacked into their website and downloaded a bunch of porn on it…in a related story, tourism in croatia is up 10,000 percent…

8.  simon cowell of american idol has broken up with his girlfriend terri seymour…news of the split has caused shockwaves thru hollywood…most people asking “SIMON COWELL IS STRAIGHT?”

9.  the new york yankees are not resigning jason giambi.  the first baseman said that he would like a shot somewhere else…probably in the butt or the arm, or the hip…..

10.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

This 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before
the judge in Cincinnati he asked her, “What did you steal?”
    She replied, “A can of peaches.”
    The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she
replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in
the can. She replied 6.
    The judge then said, “I will then give you 6 days in jail.”
    Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman’s
husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.
    The judge said, “What is it?”
    The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW…ENJOY YOUR SNOWY THURSDAY..

jay dean